I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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