Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
