just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
