New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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