you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
