i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
