Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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