Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
this boner is exhausting
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
