I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
