i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I DEMAND FORESKIN
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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