yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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