so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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