What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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