Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
