You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
