I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Randomize
