Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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