Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just want to make out with him forever
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
How does it feel to date your dad?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
