My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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