Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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