I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize