I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
