It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Im part way to drunk.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize