Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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