We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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