i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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