Sry I called you an 8
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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