I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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