I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize