I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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