he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
