She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Don't tell me you're on acid again
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize