In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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