booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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