I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Dignity is for republicans.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
i now understand why vodka
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
