It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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