It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
