spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
