What a fucking waste of an outfit
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
