No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
