someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
