What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
