I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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