Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
