my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
