Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
