Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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