u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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