I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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