i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
