so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Randomize
