I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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