I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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