I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
