I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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