Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
