scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
There's always time for handjobs
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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