OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
