it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
