awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
