dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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