oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
