somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
