..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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