Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
