i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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