I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
