You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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